Where in the world do I begin?? I guess that's the million dollar question! I suppose the best place would be to start up where my last post ended. That being said, in case you were wondering about Hopey's new shirt, yes, we are expecting another baby in February of next year!! :) And depending on if you've been following my status updates on facebook or not, you may or may not know that this has been a very very difficult pregnancy. If I may, I'm going to take the next couple of minutes to explain why I've been absent from both the real world and the blogging world.
As of Saturday, I was officially 15 weeks pregnant! We found out that we were expecting at about 3 weeks, and the craziness began then and there. I had about one week of pure joy and excitement AND no sickness before the storm started brewing. And then pregnancy as I know it BEGAN! As with most pregnancies, the nausea kicked in first. Just like with Hopey, it hit hard and fast and ALL day and night. I must say, I was not prepared to deal with the severity of it AND the antics of a two year old. After about two weeks of struggling to get out of bed each day, the much anticipated vomiting began...and decided it was going to become part of who I am. For the next nine weeks, I literally laid on the bathroom floor next to the toilet 24 hours a day. That is, if I could make it out of bed to get to the toilet.
And of course, true to form, at 6 weeks, my pregnancy ptyalism (excessive saliva) and glucose intolerance kicked in as well. What this means is that I have to carry a cup around with me to spit into because I drool so much while pregnant. The glucose intolerance means that I vomit violently for about 12 hours if I have sugar. And yes, that does include many fruits.
Anyway, I ended up losing almost 10 percent of my body weight, and ended up in the hospital many times for fluids, weight checks, medication trials, and my last threat was to have a feeding tube placed. VERY fortunately, I ended up turning a very small corner right before I had to be admitted to the hospital for the feeding tube. For the last two weeks, I've actually been able to drink fluids on my own, and even keep one or two meals down a day!!!!!! I'm still pretty nauseous, and I still get sick once or twice a day, but that is such a HUGE improvement over where I was!!!!! And for that we are praising the Lord!!!!
That brings you pretty much up to date with the craziness that's been happening up until last week. That's when we hit the biggest speed bump of the pregnancy. For the last two weeks, I've been telling Brian that I've felt like the baby's slipping out. Of course, we would both laugh, and that was that. On Tuesday evening, our little joke became, what we thought, was a reality. Something WAS coming out, and I was immediately rushed to the ER. When we got there, the doctor seemed absolutely blown away by what was happening, but couldn't seem to tell us what it was or what to expect. He told us that this very well might be a miscarriage, but he just wasn't sure. He decided an ultrasound would be the best way to check on the baby since he didn't want to mess around with whatever was actually coming out yet. He started the ultrasound, and immediately, we could see that the baby was still IN my uterus, so Brian and I thought we could breathe a sigh of relief. Not more than five seconds later, the doctor turned to me and said, "I'm sorry, there's no heartbeat. I'll give you two a few minutes." And he left...for the next hour and a half.
At that moment, our world crumbled. I don't know that Brian and I have ever cried so hard in our lives. I can't describe to you everything we went through over the next hour and a half, and truly, I don't want to. I can remember our conversation all too clearly, and I remember the pain all too well. We prayed together, and we let go of our baby and dedicated him or her into God's loving arms. I will tell you, God granted us an incredible amount of peace through all of the pain.
An hour and a half later, an actual OB came rushing into our room and told us that she needed to do another ultrasound immediately. It took her all of two seconds to yell, "THERE IS A HEARTBEAT!!!" Then she turned to the other doctor and glared at him so hard it sent shivers down my spine. That's when she told us that they were pretty sure I had a grade three prolapsed bladder, and they were POSITIVE that this had not affected our baby and that he or she would be just fine. To say I sobbed uncontrollably would be a vast understatement. How many people have their child taken away, and then miraculously given back to them???? What can I say, OUR GOD WORKS AMAZING MIRACLES EVERYDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Since then, I've had all kinds of trouble keeping my bladder in, and being able to actually use the bathroom. I've had many catheters put in, and even had a leave-in, take home catheter put in. That one hurt, and I DO NOT miss it!!!! Everyday is a bit of a struggle and has it's challenges, BUT God saved our baby, and in so doing, changed my heart. It is an absolute HONOR to be able to carry this child, and Lord willing, it will be an even bigger honor to be entrusted with this child in February. And while I still might not be the biggest fan of being pregnant, I hope you never hear me actually utter those words again because I am BLESSED beyond belief to have been given this opportunity to bring our baby into this world.
That being said, the outpouring of love from all of you has been absolutely overwhelming, and the amount of thank you's that I owe all of you is insurmountable. I cry every time I think about how all of you have reached out to our family during this difficult time. If I may, I need to thank a few of you specifically. My precious mother, who has literally given up her life to come help me out EVERY SINGLE DAY of this pregnancy. My incredible husband, who has so lovingly taken over every role in this family and never once complained about how much his life has been turned upside down by what's going on. My wonderful MJ (Meghan Johnson), who set up a meal care page for my family, so that even though I can't cook right now, my family has a hot meal every night. And then to every one of you who has so willingly and graciously brought us meals on a daily basis, you have literally saved our lives. And then so many of you have sent cards, flowers, stopped by, called, sent emails, prayed with me, prayed FOR me, just listened to me cry, and supported me through this. I want each of you to know that I have specifically and by name thanked God for putting you in my life and for giving me this kind of a support system. I feel so incredibly honored and humbled to have been blessed with your friendship and love. I am not dying, I'm simply having a rough pregnancy, but you have stepped up and made things as easy for me as possible, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
